Growing Up As A Dark-Skinned Black Girl in America Part 2


TLC. From left to right Chilli, Lisa “Left Eye” Lopez, and T-Boz.

In Black America music is always a focus during family get-togethers. Your parents would play music from there generation, and when that song came on you would hear everyone say “ooh that’s my jam!” and make there way to open space and dance.

When I would go to my granny’s house my cousins, sisters, and I would make performances up to show our parents. I do remember that Since I was the darkest I could never be the Beyoncé, Monica, or Lisa Left Eye Lopez. I was always left to be the more “undesirable” parts like singing Brady’s verse in “The boy is Mine”. I even had to be the Michelle when Destiny’s Child’s original crew split up. I only passed as Chili in TLC, as she had the good hair.

90s music was a blessing because I had many black girl groups and artists to look up to. There was TLC, Destiny’s Child, Blaque, 702, En Vogue, SWV, Total, Xscape, Oh and we can’t forget Lil Kim, Brandy, Monica, and Aaliyah (RIP to the princess). I would sing there songs and just live it!

I am grateful that through music I have been able to express myself in ways that are impossible to me by spoken conversations. The first time I was able to show my peers a bit who I am happened in 7th grade. There was a fun night at our middle school and they had Karaoke. I of course signed up to sing the song “I Try” by Macy Gray. It was like I became a whole new person. I put on a performance for everyone in the choir room, and broke down to the floor theatrically every time I said I try to say goodbye and I choke, try to walk away and I stumble! I recieved an applause like it was my concert and people came up to me and told me how great of a performance I did.

After that day people seemed to recognize me more and I became less of a shadow of my friends.

To be continued…

(This is a bit more of a personal post, but I feel as if it relates to my ascension and I’d like to share my truth.) 


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